I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
when I woke up the last searched thing on my phone was "how to make a fireproof dress" I need to stop drinking.
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
50% drunk capacity currently
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
Randomize
