I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
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