there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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