Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
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I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
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The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
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