what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
I went to bed early to get up and have a cup of coffee and watch a Sunday sunrise; and again you come home with no shirt and more stamps than my passport. Get the fuck up now, you are taking an Uber to waffle house. The order is in you name.
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
Randomize
