There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
from now on my penis is your penis
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
Randomize