i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
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