What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
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