We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
I shit you not. I was sitting on Brian's balcony...still drunk from the night before, and a hummingbird flew onto the patio, stared me right in the face and flew away. I feel like it was God's way of telling me, "Stop drinking."
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
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