I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
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