so let's talk penis.
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize
