come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.