he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
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You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
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So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.