he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
29 Petty People Reveal The Shallow Reasons They Turned Someone Down
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
21 Horribly Evil Pranks To Play On Your Drunk Friends
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself