This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT