Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis