I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
Randomize