There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Randomize
