Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
My liver just had a heart attack.
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
Randomize
