i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
I pour the whiskey from now on
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
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