Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
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