I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
Randomize
