If i come over, it means nothing
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
Randomize
