Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
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