I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
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