So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
