tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
Sorry about the voicemail last night, people in hostel thought getting the clap from cheating on me wasn't enough and you hearing a 6 foot 5 Swedish dude bang the shit out of me was needed.
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
Randomize
