all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
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