I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
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