Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
Such a big mess for such a small penis
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