Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
Randomize
