My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
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