So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
What happened to fro yo and sex?
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
Randomize
