I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
Come home. Im drunk and cutting my own hair. This is bad, i need you.
Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
Did we literally take a cab across the street
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
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