dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
Remember that St. Patrick's Day when I fucked your married coworker in his truck and the whole bar was chanting for you "Don't fuck Mike"?! #TheLuckOfTheIrish 🍀
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
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