Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
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