After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
Randomize
