Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
Shitshow foam night was such a success
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
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