You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
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