I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
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