that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
Randomize
