my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
Randomize
