clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
What a dumb baby whore.
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
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