allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
Kirsten Dunst is sitting next to me in a bar in NYC
Tell her I want my money back for Elizabethtown.
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
I am mentally ready for anal.
Randomize
