He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
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