So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
Randomize
