I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
I have left a significant number of teethmarks in my prhone. My mouth tastes like tequila and cheddar. Tomorrow already feels fun.
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
Randomize
