So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
We are two peas in an std pod
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
There are so many birds around me. And squirrels. I feel like that chick from Enchanted...but like if she had a dick and made poor life decisions.
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
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