New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
Randomize
