Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
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