In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
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