hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
Randomize
