what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
Why is the toilet broken? Why did I wake up naked in the shower, hugging a bath mat? WHY IS THE TOILET BROKEN?
Is it just clogged or something?
No! There are actual chunks of toilet on the floor.
Randomize
