the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
Randomize
