It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
These Attractive Criminals Took Sexy Mugshots That Made Them Famous
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
This Girl’s Unbelievable Catfish Story Will Make You Rethink Online Dating
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
Current dream situation- Gordon Ramsey is my Uber driver and he's hauling around a backseat filled with chocolate covered açai berries. I'm good for eternity.
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.