Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
not ubering you a puppy