I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.