hotties wanna shake it
She left me with blue balls so I jerked off on her french toast in the morning.
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
23 People Noticed Deal Breakers in Their Partner A Little Too Late
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
23 Millennials Confess The Things They Wish They Weren’t Attracted To
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you