we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize
