You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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