How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
Randomize
