plz talk dirty to me
Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
Randomize
