You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
Just a heads up that Dad just brought home a new Porsche and the sales girl he bought it from.
Umm okay. What are they doing?
They’re in the hot tub
Can I get divorced when I grow up?
Randomize